Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
