I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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