i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
