I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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