Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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