So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
