Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
