we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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