I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
