I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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