Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize