he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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