You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You ruined the universe
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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