Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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