he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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