just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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