I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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