She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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