your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize