I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
