There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
