i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
