I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Holy sore nipples Batman
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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