my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
