sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize