So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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