I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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