Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize