Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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