I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
