And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
