spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
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