Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
