i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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