Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize