We're facebook friends in real life
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
