We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
These tits shall not be calmed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
