Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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