Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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