OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
