How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
