you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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