is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
