Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
