I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize