She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
