Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
