Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
