as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
