tell your sister to shave her snatch
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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