I haven't been this sober since birth.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
