Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Boobs are out for the taking
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize