??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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