she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
