I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
