yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
