We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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