She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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