he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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