i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
