the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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