I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dignity is for republicans.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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