OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
