found the other keg... it's in the tree
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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