From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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