Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
