This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize