At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
