i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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